1. Abhishek Hazra


Books > Antiquarian & Collectible Books > Nonfiction Books

This is a handwritten manuscript of the Bengali translation of The Communist Manifesto authored by Marx and Engels.  The author of this handwritten copy has expressed the desire to remain anonymous. However he wishes to inform everyone that he remains steadfast in his complete dedication to the communist cause. The Bengali text from which this manuscript has been copied by hand is a translation from the version published by Progress Publishers, Moscow. The Bengali copy has been done in a slim bound volume of the kind that is also popular among impecunious high school students in certain parts of India. The Bengali translation of the Communist Manifesto can be obtained very easily and at surprisingly low prices in West Bengal, India. Bengal has had a democratically elected communist government since 1977. All though much before 1977, there has always been an important leftist, Marxist presence in the state. However, it is not the question of availability that had prompted the author to copy the entire manifesto by hand. It was a labour of love. He also wanted to anoint eBay with the holy presence of that great seer who actually spoke more about capitalism than about communism.

2. Ellen Harvey


Self-Representing Artists

The painting “Low Tech Special Effects:  Monsters (Julia)” was stolen from an exhibition in 2000. After years of trolling through E-bay hoping to find it, I’m now selling the work to any interested purchaser. A unique opportunity to own a valuable piece of contemporary art without any of the hassles of physical ownership unless of course you’re the person who stole it, in which case, this is your chance to make things right.

In exchange for your bid and your agreement that I can document the painting if recovered, I undertake to do my best to provide you with the necessary documentation to transfer ownership (copyright not included, as is customary) of “Low Tech Special Effects: Monster (Julia)” to you so that you will be able to make a legal claim for it in the event that it is ever found. Who knows, maybe it will even show up on E-bay some day.

The painting was stolen in 2000 from my solo exhibition ”Painting is a Low Tech Special Effect” at De Chiara/Stewart Gallery. The gallery was located at 521 W. 26th Street, New York, NY 10001; it has since closed. The exhibition was from June 1 to July 1, 2000 and the painting was stolen in the first couple of days of the exhibition. It has not been seen since.

The painting is part of a series of paintings called “Low Tech Special Effects: Monsters” which consisted of paintings based on Polaroids of friends of mine who had been asked to “be a monster.” In this case, the painting is based on a Polaroid of my college roommate Julia. Unfortunately, I do not have an image of it as it was stolen before it could be photographed. I have included an image of the Polaroid on which the painting was based to allow for identification. I have also included images of some of the other paintings in the series for reference.

The painting is in oils on board with a 1/2 inch wooden support. It is 5 inches x 5 1/2 inches in size. It was not framed. The painting should be signed “Ellen Harvey” on the back and dated either 2000 or 1999. It may have the text “Monsters (Julia)” on the back. I remember it as a particularly nice painting and I was very sorry to lose it. Obviously someone else felt the same way.

Images from this series have been featured in Harpers Magazine and Le Journal des Arts. The exhibition “Painting is a Low Tech Special Effec” was reviewed in Time Out New York, Artnet & the Village Voice.  Paintings from this series were most recently exhibited in 2005 in the Museum für Photographie, Braunschweig, Germany in the exhibition “Polaroid als Geste” and were also included in the accompanying catalog “Polaroid als Geste” edited by Meike Kröncke, Barbara Lauterbach &; Rolf F. Nohr, published by Hatje Cantz.  Images of the series are also included in “Ellen Harvey”, by Alex Baker & Shamim Momin, published by the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts in 2006. I believe they are also included in an upcoming catalog of the West Collection. None of the paintings in this series have been put up for auction, as far as I know, so I do not know what they would sell for in the current art market.

3. Annie Varnot


Real Estate > Land

This is a GREAT little 18”x19” tract in Varnot County. Varnot county is located on North Spencer Street in the US state of New York. In-accessible by major hwys. Enjoy scenic views through small colorful portals in landscape. Air rights included. MUST SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Matthew Bryant


Decorative Collectibes

Up for bid is one of TEN different items from my home. These items are randomly chosen from different areas of my apartment, and they represent a wide variety of interests and historical value. Each item

is of personal significance and charged with an authentic, intimate history. Upon receipt of the winning bid or Buy It Now payment, I will randomly choose and then ship one of the ten items to the winner, with a signed letter detailing the item¹s particular history and significance. My loss is your gain, so take advantage of this rare opportunity to collect significant personal objects from my life!¹

5. Slop Mountain College


Specialty Services > Advice & Instruction > Other

Cobwebs clogging your workspace floor? 

Racked by doubt or despair because your practice lacks clear
direction or meaning?

Distracted by your desire for coins, candy, SpongeBob’s square
pants, or the latest Beanie Babies?

Plagued by guilt about indulging in formalist fantasies while
your tax dollars fund atrocities?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you won’t want to
miss this unique opportunity to stem the flow of negatives to your
creative shores.

As you may have heard, the odds are stacked against your continual
identification as an active Artist. Whether you question your will or
capacity to persist as a productive member of the Arts and
Entertainment Industry, or find yourself going through the motions in
the absence of rigorous critical feedback or kind kudos, you are
likely in need of more nurturing support.

Be the highest bidder & enjoy a self-scheduled tele-session of
unwavering encouragement from persistent solo & collaborative makers
of Fine Art products, Adriane Herman & Brian Reeves.  For as long as
it takes to de-claw doubts, rekindle flagging fires, or ameliorate
professional or avocational ennui, Slop-eratives will employ their
vast collective arsenal of long-winded academic and lay experience,
responding in real-time to your spoken & unspoken needs for up to
three hours.  They’ll relate proven strategies and extol media likely
to serve your ideas ranging from nearly up-to-date technologies to
long-forsaken traditions.  For a fraction of the retail value, receive
rigorous deconstructive & speculative critique (should you desire it)
in one or more modes (choose from Pre-Modern, Modern, and Post-Modern
approaches).  These broadly exhibited Certified Masters will
relevantly recommend exemplary emissaries of expression. They’ll even
overlook an apparent lack of talent or originality –
whatever it takes to convince you to end
world hunger for your own brand of Art. 

Bid today for this rare
opportunity to capitalize upon Slop Art´s proprietary techniques for
inspiring the uninspired, lessening languor, prodding the pooped who
have lost (or misplaced) their spark or simply need a deadline to get
something done.  Even if you don’t count yourself among any of these
unfortunates, inoculate against statistically probable future despair
by keeping a Slop Brand Pep Talk in your hip pocket.  

Slop Art will contact the winner to schedule his or her customized
consultation.  Direct any questions to:

5. an excerpt of the above text or let us know if we should condense it

for use   on the website (which will link to the actual listing in


Bid today for this rare
opportunity to capitalize upon Slop Art´s proprietary techniques for
inspiring the uninspired, lessening languor, prodding the pooped who
have lost (or misplaced) their spark or simply need a deadline to get
something done.  Even if you don’t count yourself among any of these
unfortunates, inoculate against statistically probable future despair
by keeping a Slop Brand Pep Talk in your hip pocket.

6. Nancy Hwang


Collectibles > Bottles & Unsulators > Bottles > Modern (1900-Now) > Sodas > Coca-Cola

1 Liter (1000 ml) Coca-Cola bottle from Korea

Green glass, Hobbleskirt (bottle shape)

  1. 1981 or earlier

Red on White ACL (Applied Color Label):

Raised glass marking on Korean logo side: D2.10 81

Very good condition, slight crate wear near protruding bottom- and mid-sections; plain metal (no markings) twist-on cap, missing 2 sections of 8-part perforated safety-seal/ tear-off band

13 1/4” height x 3 3/8” diameter (33.7 cm x 8.7 cm)

2 lb. 1 1/2 oz.


This bottle (pictured on the far right; others are for scale) is a gift from an artist I met last November in Seoul, Korea. It was my first visit to my birthplace since immigrating to the US 25 years earlier. My resulting wide-eyed sensibilities made me pick up a 355 ml Coke bottle (pictured in the center) at a restaurant in Busan (Korea’s second largest city) during the 2005 APEC (Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation) Summit. (We happened to be staying at the Westin with George W. Bush). I remarked on the bottle’s shape and size as being different from what I was accustomed to seeing in the States. That’s when Taeheon (pictured on left) announced that he had a Coke bottle at home that he wanted to give me. He had found a pair of 1 liter bottles right around 1980 (the date he recalled) and took them home. Now, Taeheon has one of the bottles and I have the other. I’m guessing that part of the raised glass inscription on this bottle could refer to the date of its production. Never having sold anything on eBay, I suggested to Taeheon that this item would find a perfect home on eBay. He told me to sell it on eBay and let him know afterwards if we should sell his too. After some research, I found a nice international community of Coke bottle collectors online and a huge variety of Coke bottles, but I haven’t found anyone yet who has this particular Coke bottle. Coca-Cola has been bottled in South Korea since 1951. The Korean War started in 1950. As if we haven’t lived through enough senseless wars, the Cola Wars peaked in the 1980s. (Remember the Michael Jackson Pepsi ads?) I’m fascinated by objects in this world, witnessed to multiple histories—personal and universal—that imbue them with meaning, value. At the same time, I struggle to own less, hoping to cherish the stories over the objects. Putting this bottle on eBay and sharing the results with Taeheon completes my part of this bottle’s story and maybe even enriches its provenance slightly. Thanks for reading and for considering adding this bottle to your collection. In addition to bids, I welcome any comments or insights you might send my way.

7. Davy Rothbart


Books > Magazine Subscriptions > Celebrity

You are bidding on one hot date with FOUND Magazine heartthrob Brande Wix.  Brande helped start FOUND Magazine with his friends Davy Rothbart and Jason Bitner in 2001, and has been deeply

involved with the magazine ever since.  He has been described at various times as “dashingly handsome,” “a passionate wild man,” “a soulful visionary with a heart of gold,” and “a dangerous subversive with outstanding warrants in three states.”

This date includes dinner at a restaurant of your choice in the Ann Arbor, Michigan area, followed by drinks at either a nearby tavern or your place, depending how things are going.  The winning bidder also receives a complete set of every issue of FOUND Magazine and Dirty FOUND.  The night of your life is guaranteed.  Bid with confidence!

8. Conrad Bakker


Jewelry & Watches > Watches > Wristwatches

ROLEX [eBAY] is part of an ongoing investigation of objects and representation through the painted  reproduction of eBay auction photographs. This particular auction features a set of 8 oil paintings that represent a single eBay auction of a Rolex watch.  Each painting is 4 1/2 x 6 inches and is priced according to the original auction.  The winning bidder will receive all 12 paintings of this object/auction!

9. Robin Kahn


Art > Mixed Media > Contemporary (1950-Now)

Conceptual artist Robin Kahn – feminist provocateur, public artist (www.copilandia.org), editor of anti-copyright artist anthologies ( www.creativetime.org/archive ), curator of radical art exhibitions, self- published author (www.printedmatter.org) is offering six monthly mailings of her well-known, reviewed and collectible limited edition artist mailings. The winning bidder will receive a surprise artwork each month for six months in the mail in the spirit of the New York Correspondence School. In addition, you will be put on the artist’s mailing list for free future art mailings, and if you wish, receive pre-release info and invitations to her future projects.

A New York Based artist with work in the collections of the Museum of Modern Art , The Whitney Museum and The Smithsonian Institute, Kahn has exhibited since 1989 throughout the U.S. and Abroad.  Her work has been included at The Carnegie Museum (Pittsburgh), DIA, The Guggenheim Museum SoHo, The Kitchen, LACMA, LACE and White Columns. In addition, she is a public artist who co-founded several public art projects between Spain and the US. She curates alternative exhibitions, most recently Get Off! at The Museum of Sex (http://www.museumofsex.com/exhibitions/GO/index.html ). She also participated in performances with Fluxus artists Alison Knowles and Larry Miller for Fluxsweet ( http://www.ubu.com/sound/fluxsweet.html ) and is regular guest singer on the Kenny G show (www.wfmu.org see: http://wfmu.org/onthedownload.php/0601 & www.ubuweb.com http://www.ubu.com/sound/kahn.html etc. ).

Her new publication, The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Art, distributed by D.A.P. Books (www.artbooks.com) was recently reviewed in “Hot Type” in Vanity Fair (September 2006) and in the “Art Talk” section of Art News ( October 2006). The artist will be having a solo exhibition November-December 2006 at Mulry Fine Art in West Palm Beach, Fla.

In Andrea Codrington’s feature article on the artist, (World Art October 1996) entitled “Milking DADA”, she heralds Robin Kahn’s projects as “emphasizing collaboration over gallery kudos.” In that spirit Kahn has worked as an artist, editor and curator with:

Kathy Acker, assume astro vivid focus, Dottie Attie, Charlie Ahearn, Polly Apfelbaum, Lynda Benglis, Bureau of Public Secrets (Situationist texts), Lutz Bacher, Jane Dickson, Diller+Scofidio, Barbara Ess, e-team, General Idea, Kenneth Goldsmith, Kirby Gookin, Federico Guzman, Al Hansen, Geoffrey Hendricks, Georg Herold, Joan Jonas, Hettie Jones, Terence Koh, Barbara Kruger, Yayoi Kusama, Guerilla Girls, Karen Kilimnik, Tuli Kupferberg , Christian Marclay, Marlene McCarty, Yoko Ono, Richard Prince, Rob Pruitt, Karim Rashid, Avital Ronell, Michael Schmelling, Carolee Schneemann, Mike Smith, Fred Tomaselli, Rosemarie Trockel, Robert Watts, Lawrence Weiner, James Welling, Sue Williams and Linda Yablonsky.


10. John Roos


Everything Else > Education & Learning > Adult & Career Education > Personal Development > Other

(Sales the ultimate form of expression.)

As an artist I developed compatibility to others thru methods of expression. From writing, to painting, to cooking, thinking or talking. I was always searching for that nerve or a way of speaking the same language with a world of people. As I worked harder and harder at making beautiful art I came to the conclusion that what I did had no meaning or substance unless it was connected to a world of people. It didn’t matter my form of expression or what I was making the connection of a sale was the form of expression that made the art.

As an art project I decided to sell cars. People who knew me, including myself didn’t think I would last 3months when I signed on at Dunning Subaru in Ann Arbor, Michigan 3 years ago. As it turned out all my work previous to this prepared me to be a great car salesmen.

From meeting and greeting, to needs analysis, to problem solving, to creative thinking, to decision making, to taking action, to closing and making a deal, every connection or sale included all the aspects of great art and drama. The comedy, the tension, the fear, the pain, the sadness, the perception, the reality, the hope and joy, of life imitating itself. Each sale in the end a master piece itself..

Up for action my sales skills.

In person. Pick up only.

New or Certified Pre-owned

Coffee, Art, and Subaru’s

John R. Roos

Free bag of Roos Roast with every car sold!

11. Osman Khan


Real Estate > Land

This here is a first…  we are providing for the first time the sale of a view (let me repeat on sale here is a view, a vista, a scene if you will… sorry no land for sale just literally a view, or rather a unique viewing angle looking at the vista will belong to you, that’s right a private way of looking at the world can happily now be yours to own and yes call your own!), What you say, just a view for sale?  Well if you remember the Natives Americans also once believed the land they lived on was not theirs to be bought or sold and… well lets not even mention what the price of an apartment in Manhattan goes for now. Well then get in on the ground floor of this great opportunity…and here is the kicker, the view you purchase is no ordinary view… no sirree, not this view… that’s right  it has been painstakingly selected by a bona fide artist for your pleasure and is your opportunity to glimpse the world as revealed through an artist’seye, to share in the artist’s source of creativity. Forget buying the painting, buy the inspiration….

So stop being shortsighted… hey, buying into the President’s vision of a better world has cost us all a lot more, so bid today, this is a unique opportunity.

This will make a great Holiday gift for a loved one, a timeless and unique gift you canenjoy year after year!

Location/Direction of View:

GPS, Viewing Direction (compass, altitude) Coordinates will be provided on purchase.

A framing plaque with with your name will be erected at site to acknowledge your claim to the view!

Photograph of view from viewing angle will also be sent to you on purchase.

12. Karen Eliot


Business & Industrial > Other Industries > Websites & Businesses for Sale > Home-Based Businesses

“Top Revolution Making Affiliate Program On The Internet To Date!   With Our Revolutionary Conversion Methods You Have No Choice But To  Try For Yourself!!”

Using the techniques of Viral Marketing, Social Engineering, and  tactics gleaned from the pyramid schemes of Albania and other post- soviet republics we have put together an unbeatable strategy from  bringing any country to its knees.  Help undermine the oppressive  nation state model WORKING RIGHT FROM YOUR OWN HOME.

You will receive a action kit that will help you get started non- violently undermining the government of any nation TODAY!!! Our  ACTION MANUAL explains it all.  Easy to read instructions, and  diagrams included.

Buy the Manual and Take A Peak At This Amazing Action Program That  Will Leave You Startled And Literally Drooling To Begin Within The  Next 5 Minutes, And The Best Part Is…

Its 100% EASY and SAFE To Get Started!

13. Josh Greene


Sports Mem, Cards & Fan Shop > Fan Apparel & Souvenir > Basketball-NBA > Other NBA Items

Pardon Chris Webber

On April 5, 1993, The University of North Carolina Tar Heels were crowned national champions. As monumental as their victory was, a mistake by an opposing player is widely acknowledged to have assured Carolina’s triumph. UNC led 73-71 when Chris Webber, University of Michigan’s All-American sophomore forward, rebounded Pat Sullivan’s missed free throw with 19 seconds left.

Webber appeared to travel, but the referees missed the call. Seemingly given a second chance, he hurriedly dribbled across mid-court, stopping in front of Michigan’s bench. Then he signaled for a timeout with 11 seconds remaining. The only trouble was that the Wolverines had exhausted all of their timeouts.

The penalty for Webber’s blunder was a technical foul shot and the ball awarded to North Carolina. The tar heels went on to a 77-71 victory.

That night was Webber’s last in a Wolverine’s jersey. He moved along to the NBA where he has plied his talents for several NBA teams. He was named Rookie of the Year, appeared in numerous NBA all-star games, and has garnered multi-million dollar contracts.

But despite his successes, Webber is still best known as the guy who called the timeout that he didn’t have. It’s a shadow that follows him from team to team and perhaps it is not without coincidence that he has yet to win a championship in the NBA. Webber is in the twilight of his career. He may have another year or two left in the league. But it is not too late for redemption. With your help, we can give Chris Webber the confidence to go out there and become a winner. A certificate of pardon in your name will be sent directly to Chris Webber’s agent. This pardon will acknowledge that mistakes happen and will formally forgive Chris Webber and clear his name.

The price of this pardon reflects the cost of this certificate as well as postage. You will be sent a copy of the certificate as well. Chris Webber needs your help.

14. Christine Hill


Everything Else > Gifts & Occasions > Gift Baskets > Themed Baskets

Welt der Weisheit

(World of Wisdom)

Welt der Weisheit is an ongoing project from Volksboutique, a Berlin-based workshop specializing in the creation of alternative libraries and archives.

We catalogue daily life experience and inventory lifestyle ephemera.

We are offering a year-long subscription, in 12 monthly installments, to the Welt der Weisheit Care Package, in which the winner of the auction will be shipped via post physical manifestations of Wisdom, as defined, compiled and characterized by Volksboutique. These will be both text and object related. Which objects and texts are included in each package remains solely the discretion of Volksboutique. Guaranteed is an ephemeral, metaphorically-laden exchange that will enrich any collection. We are particularly interested in those customers who specialize in or strive for rendering the intangible tangible. If you have been considering a seasonal subscription to any magazine, cheese plate delivery service, or fitness club, we urge you to rethink your investment and add Welt der Weisheit to your holiday wish list.

You can learn about Volksboutique’s interventions and projects at volksboutique.org

Thank you for choosing Volksboutique.

15. Dan Price


Collectibles > Science, Medical > Other Science Collectibles

About the Hair

I first discovered this hair in July of 2002, while nude bathing near the Vermont Studio Center in Johnson, Vermont. Several of us were sunning on the smooth, flat rocks that line the Gihon River just upstream from town. Brian was there, and so was Jemima. After swimming, I showed them how my fingers had turned white in the cold water of the stream. We lay down to dry off. I had my numb fingers laced behind my head, and was enjoying the warmth of the sun on my body when I felt a little tickle on my trunk, just below my armpit. A slight breeze had come up, and to my surprise, I felt the air playing across something on that particularly sensitive stretch of skin. Lifting my left arm abruptly into the air, I pressed my chin into my chest, craning my neck to see what was going on. The slanting and honeyed sunlight of late afternoon illuminated a single, colorless hair. I reached my right hand across my chest to brush the hair aside, but it didn’t go. My chin redoubling with the effort, I reached again, this time with the intent to pinch and flick. At the moment I grasped the hair between my thumb and forefinger, a tiny cone rose on the skin below the hair. A tiny, beige volcano with a tiny, triangular shadow. “Why, it’s attached!” I thought, and sat up properly, letting go of the hair. My eyes were leaden and strained from peering so intently and awkwardly down, but I returned my attention to the hair. As I played its flaxen length out between my fingers, I estimated it to be about four inches long. Four inches! This was a monster. I showed it to Brian and Jemima, who were duly impressed. Jemima noted, in hushed reverence, “it’s…albino.”

What is a rogue hair, anyways?*

Hair comes in all shapes and sizes, not to mention places. I learned in 12th grade biology with Mr. Friedlander that the reason that hair is curly or not curly totally depends on its cross-section. For example, my hair is super curly. That means if you were to cut a piece and look at the cut end, it would be flat – more like linguini, and less like spaghetti. Mr. Friedlander’s hair, however, would look more like spaghetti. He has really long hair and it’s super straight, like Asian hair. So that’s hair. Head hair. There’s also facial hair, armpit hair, chest hair, nipple hair, pubic hair, arm hair, leg hair, back hair, ear hair, nose hair, knuckle hair, eyebrow hair, eyelashes and peach fuzz. All of these kinds of hairs differ in size, shape and color, not to mention location. For example, pubic hair is kinky, and I’m not sure why, but I think this is because each strand varies in thickness along its length. Parts of it are round like spaghetti, and parts are flat, like linguini. It could also be because pubic hair is constantly getting squashed by your body parts and your clothes, so it is always rumpled like your clothes are after you fly on an airplane, but I’m not so sure about that. What I do know is, pubic hair is always kinky. Nobody has straight pubic hair. Armpit hair is usually bushy, and eyebrows are usually dark. Knuckle hair is always short, while head hair is usually long, and so on.

Well, when a hair shows up, but it doesn’t seem to belong to one of the known families of hairs I listed above, or if a hair emerges like totally out of the area its supposed to grow in, then I call it a rogue hair. Check out this dictionary definition of rogue, and you’ll see what I mean. Like a plant that “shows an undesirable variation from a standard”, or “one who is playfully mischevious”, these “unprincipled…vagrants” usually get the tweeze. And I have quite a few, believe it or not. There’s three on my right shoulderblade, and two big ones on my left. There’s one on my collarbone, and a couple of newish ones on my stomach. All of these rogues are dark, if not altogether black. And, they’re always straight. I’ve almost never seen a curly rogue. So even within the category of aberrant hairs, this one (the one you’re bidding on) is super unique. First of all, it’s super long. It is way longer than any other rogue hair I’ve ever found on my body. Secondly, it’s totally transparent! As I mentioned, rogue hairs are almost always black, or at least very, very dark brown. I have never before seen a clear hair of this length on an adult. At least not one of this length and category. Thirdly, this hair is unusually thin. My sister described it as “like, size zero monofilament.” Well, I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Plus, you’re probably wondering, “Where do I come in?”

Here’s Where You Come In

The winner of this auction gets the hair. Fair and square. You bought it, you got it. For that matter, you get to tease it, curl it, tint it, glint it, gloss it, floss it, clip it, snip it, pull it or just plain pluck it. What’s more, in the event you decide to harvest it, it is very likely to grow back!!! This means, you get generation after generation of this very unusual and plucky rogue hair. It’s all yours! Forever!!


The Contract

You are bidding on the ownership rights to one rogue hair in its natural and unaltered state on my upper torso. Please see the definition of rogue as it pertains to body hair as outlined above. I would describe the location of this hair as being 7 centimeters across from my left nipple, and 10 centimeters below the center of my left armpit. This location is not expected to change. Although the hair topped out at nearly four (4) inches when first discovered, it is now estimated to be in the neighborhood of just less than two (2) inches in its current iteration. Length varies with time. Be patient. Your claim on this hair grants you all rights and privileges to the grooming, coloration, manipulation and/or periodic removal of this highly collectible hair. Your ownership of this unusual specimen will extend in perpetuity, effectively allowing you full privileges to the hair in the event of my death, or in the unlikely event of yours, the privilege of naming an heir to the hair.

Here’s where I establish more terms of the contract for my own decency and self-respect

The winner of this auction may choose to own the hair undisturbed as it grows in its natural state on my body. If this is the case, I will act dutifully as a responsible caretaker of your property, and upon request, brief you with occasional updates as to its health and condition. If you, the owner, choose to engage with the hair while it is still on my body, I retain the right to choose the circumstances and pursuant remuneration under which you exercise your ownership rights. For example, if you wish to display the hair at a party or bring it with you somewhere, but want it to remain attached to me as a “live” specimen, I will, as host, expect reasonable payment and care in exchange for chaperoning the hair.

Feedback Policy

Please ask any questions and perform your due diligence prior to bidding.  Please bid only if you fully intend to purchase the auction item. If you win the auction, you are fully obligated to pay in full. I will leave negative feedback for deadbeat bidders.  Once the transaction is complete and you are satisfied, you can then leave feedback, too.


All items are sold as-is. Bidders are urged to examine and research the item prior to bidding. All information included in this listing page has come from reliable sources and is accurate to the best of my knowledge. The photographs are not retouched or altered and truthfully represent the item as it is. I make no guarantee expressed or implied as to the condition of this item. This sale is “as is” and final.

Thanks for looking and good luck!

16. Sheryl Oring


Everything Else > Weird Stuff > Slightly Unusual

Sheryl Oring, a New York-based artist, will dress as a 1950s secretary and type postcards to the President as dictated by the people who stop by her office. This auction is for the sale of one performance, to be scheduled at a mutually agreed upon time. Hire Sheryl to do the show for two hours anywhere in New York! She will set up her office – complete with an old-fashioned typewriter — and type up anything you and your friends wish to say to the President. You may mail the originals to the White House, while Sheryl will keep carbon copies for her archive.

Great for parties!

(Please note that because of travel costs, this offer is good only in New York City.)

17. Nick Tobier


Business & Industrial > Other Industries > Other

North America, Year of 2006

It has been months, nay, days, since the last sighting of our precious mineral grail have revealed their bedazzled luster. In the opening hours, nay seconds, of the expeditionary thrust of the delicate probes, expectations and emotions ran as the falls at Niagara. Just as these self same waters rise a-thunder, so do they fall, and thus the trajectory of these quests are at once filled with a mix of elation and deflation.

The instigator of these sensations has many faces. Seen by some as a grainy substrate, others a precious mineral, finds your humble recipient an easy mark for this intensity for your narrator is a hopeless romantic.

Let me count the ways the mere possibility of this mineral encounter bestows nobility to this world that knows no bounds. But I digress, for emotions being what they are (rampant hormonal bursts that lead otherwise rational beings to fits of bluster), our story begins before the top of this screen, and even before the one before the one before that with another.

Allow me to set the stage for this quixotic journey by reprinting a certain document. The following Preface and ensuing Notes (with marginal errors presumed at a rate of 1/2) were received by our offices (N.A.) via facsimile and transmitted the following information thusly:

Sir or Madam,

In two weeks, give or take 14 days, plus or minus a fortnight, and most certainly within the calendrical period defined by a month halved, the value of certain minerals aforementioned and those mentioned after that may or may not render the gold standard obsolete, or in fact, support the same standard’s very existence for all eternity.

(The following subjects, direct and indirect, objects likewise and corresponding quotients shall from this point on for the purposes of this treatise be expressed as un-renderable glyphs which for the convenience of this text be treated as X and Y)

(That being said, there are neither guarantees nor promises, conclusive, inconclusive or indecipherable commencing with or preceding up to the given interval expressed by the forum herein known as “auction.”)

We have reason to believe (although for the purposes of this transmittal must strongly suggest that these reasons may be either unfounded or apocryphal while not entirely without value) that there exists small quantities of substances currently bounded by the earthen walls of your property which may or may not pertain to the above clauses, including those pertaining to punctuation and nomenclature.

The world being what it is (a complex interconnected mass of water, land mass, life forms and post consumer products), we are contacting you with due caution at this point in time to notify you of the potential presence of such substances. While the substances may be present their exchange value may range from phenomenal to marginal/negligible. In the intervening time between now and the time that comes after now, your actions need not be pre determined by the promises of either financial gain and/or the commensurate freewheeling over spending that accompanies said gain.

We ask that you proceed with divulging this information with all due diligence.

I remain yours sincerely,

Hector P. Valenti, DDS, aesthete and investor.

Surely you jest. Surely, I proclaimed in haute voix as the French say, to no one in particular (for I was alone at the time of receiving Mr. Valenti’s transmittal) this is either too good to be true or indeed it is true, every last word from the mundane to the sublime. And I was to become a miner not for coal, not for pig iron, not for earthworms, but for something ever more enigmatic.

Chapitre 2 (after the first chapter, le deuxieme)

That is without a doubt, the single most splendid moment in this hemisphere.

Thoughts traipsed hapless and joyful through my minds eye, enabling my world weary soul to envision the next years, nay moments, nay all eternity, as a period filled with fine silks, imported bon bons, bon mots, bons vivants and bon chance.

Caution being the better part of valor, if not seventy percent of pre-caution, I stilled the wild horses and hushed the winds. Silence, beasts and earthly phenomena! How to proceed, as our Valenti’s communication suggested, with diligence (due or otherwise) I wondered to myself (I had learned by this point that wondering to someone else is talking.)

After my chronometer rather than the constellations yet calibrated a pause of what seemed like months, I came to the realization that this scenario provided more than a quotidian quest for riches and had provoked an inescapable obsession.

Even saying the name fills me now with the wonderful physical sensation that accompanies the pursing of the lips around the lower front teeth often required to pronounce the sound that commences it all.

Do you hear the winds whistle with each mention?

Horses gallop in the distance, their very savageness stoked by the fantasies of this find.



Join our intrepid miner/explorer on the continuance of this epic saga as the winning bidders. The selected individual (winning bid) will receive the next installment of the mineral speculation along the journey for Feldspar. The text is accompanied by a re-sealable tin filled with what may (or may not) be.


18. Institute of Infinitely Small Things


Books > Non-Fiction Books

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define BLACK SITE in new AMERICAN dictionary

terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define COLLATERAL DAMAGE in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define CONFLICT RESOLUTION in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define EMBEDDED JOURNALIST in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define ENEMY COMBATANT in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define EXTRAORDINARY RENDITION in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define PREEMPTIVE WAR in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define REGIME CHANGE in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define TORTURE in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!

Title: NEW!!!!! EXCLUSIVE right to define WAR ON TERROR in new AMERICAN dictionary terrorism L@@K!!!


The Institute for Infinitely Small Things is publishing a New American Dictionary with terms by and for all Americans. Purchase the EXCLUSIVE RIGHT to define one of the ten most important terms in the dictionary, all currently on auction on eBAY.

These are the 10 MOST IMPORTANT new terms of our time:

Don’t miss out – owning the right to define words is POWER. The New American Dictionary is waiting for your definition!!!! Email us with any questions.

19. Charles Fairbanks


Cameras & Photo > Film > 35MM > Color > 100 Speed

I’m an art photographer navigating the passage from film to digital. In the midst of this process, a few rolls of film have accumulated in my desk.  When I took these pictures I was really excited about them – I remember being absorbed in the scene, carefully composing and exposing the photos to capture the moments I wanted, and I remember anticipating the pleasure of seeing the world before me framed on color-saturated 35mm film.

Now these memories sit end to end, rolled up in their metal canisters, waiting for someone to reveal them. Unfortunately, my busy schedule tells me that I shouldn’t be that someone: I don’t have time to process, edit, or even look at the pictures.

Fortunately YOU, dear eBay-er, have the opportunity to bid on and possess these fondly captured moments and memories.  As I recall, they include a roller derby, a concert, some birds and a road trip, but I’m unsure which experiences are on which rolls.  This auction is for one roll only.  See my other auctions to buy the rest.

20. William Pope L.


Home & Garden > Food & Wine > Desserts > Other Desserts

This is a lemon with magic marker on it.  The lemon is not magic.  It is just a lemon with magic marker on it.  I will send this lemon to you but you cannot keep it.  Even if you are black you cannot keep it.

Marc Ganzglass


Collectibles > Postcards & Paper > Postcards > Real Photo > Events



22. Abhishek Hazra


Musical Instruments > Other Instruments

I, Abhishek Hazra, a visual artist by profession and currently based in Bangalore, India, hereby offer my own voice for ownership. The successful bidder will own my voice, in the sense that he or she would be absolutely free to sample my voice and recreate a digital version of my voice. They would also enjoy the rights to the free and unrestricted usage of that digitally recreated voice for any purpose whatsoever. On the other hand, if they do not want to recreate a digital version and still wish to make my voice speak words and sentences that I have never uttered until now, they could possibly resort to the painful and laborious process of ‘collaging’ together an aural passage from various micro fragments. In that case, they need to have access to large library of my voice fragments. The successful bidder can request me to provide them with such a library. However, the overall running length of the fragments shouldn’t exceed 5 hours. If the successful bidder requires any particular fragments, then that information needs to be communicated to me, before I ship out the CD containing the recorded sample of my voice. The audio file that has been currently uploaded to ebay, is a recording of my voice reciting out an explanation of Kenneth Arrow’s Possibility Theorem that spelled the death knell for the very idea of representative democracy. The image is basically a snapshot of the waveform of the recording.

23. Carl Diehl


Collectibles > Historical Memorabilia > Other Historical Items

Anecdotal Evidence:

Increase your experience capital with this exciting collection of memorable anecdotes! The lost treasures of real life thrifting-the thrill of the hunt, braving the elements, the olfactory spectrum, chance discoveries and spirited haggling have now been virtualized! Experiential nuances of the second-hand market have been remembered and are yours for re-contextualizing!

Culled from the memories of skilled real-life garage sailors, flea market fiends, dumpster divers and the like, encoded in interactive text files, and yours for re-working! Interchangeable narrative strands and details abound! You modify parts or entire chronicles, modify key words, authenticate these stories with your own data! Recitation of these anecdotal tales will rejuvenate your appearance as an everyday adventurer and person of the world. Compatible with most wetware and housed in a hollowed out edition of Daniel J. Boorstin´s “The Discoverers.”



Business & Industrial > Industrial Supply, MRO > Other Industrial Supplies

Own a piece of San Francisco’s cultural history!


FOR SALE – cans of art gallery, each containing 3 core samples of gallery wall, rich with sedimented cultural value and preserved in mineral oil.
These cans are specially signed and numbered for this eBay auction.
San-Francisco based art collective REBAR recently canned the walls of the Southern Exposure art gallery, one of the most famous public art galleries on the West Coast!

After 32 years in the same industrial space (which used to house the American Can Manufacturing Company), Southern Exposure has closed its doors for seismic retrofitting. But before they shut the doors, REBAR created its EnCanment project – a temporary canning operation that harvested, processed and canned the gallery itself.

REBAR systematically mapped and cored sections of the gallery wall and, utilizing the latest in industrial assembly-line technology, canned the cores in metal cans on-site.

Now, and for a limited time, you, the art consumer, can own actual pieces of gallery wall, processed and canned in a tin can!

At REBAR, we know you have a choice when it comes to canned gallery space. That’s why we harvested only the choicest sections of the Southern Exposure gallery wall.

Our patented wall-mapping process guarantees that our canned gallery is the Best Quality Available™ on the market today.

To ensure your canned gallery space is the highest quality, choose Rebar brand Southern Exposure!

Don’t be left without canned culture! A can of gallery is the perfect addition to the home earthquake/disaster kit.

Buyer pays actual shipping.

25. Yashas Shetty


Kitchen & Home Appliances > Home Appliances > Other Appliances

Disposable Pop Songs

Pop music has long been considered trivial-a low art. With my ebay auction I hope to further this notion of triviality by turning the song into a physical artifact which you can then dispose. Bidders can bid for 4 songs and each song comes in a plastic case, with other artifacts thrown in –they could be stones, photographs, flowers, stories, bills, blueprints for big plans…which may or may not have anything to do with the song. The winning bidder is then free to dispose/discard the song in anyway s/he pleases. Each song is/was unique and will never be reproduced/recorded again.

Good Luck with your bidding.

Uninvited Guest — Stefano Pasquini


Art > Mixed Media > Contemporary (1950-Now)

The winning bidder will receive a surprise artwork each month for six months in the mail in the spirit of the New York Correspondence School.

Conceptual artist Stefano Pasquini stole Robin Kahn’s idea and gives you some beautiful items in the post in true Fluxus style for the next six months! Stefano (b. 1969, Bologna, Italy) received his MFA from the Academy of Fine Arts of Bologna in 1991, he then left the country for Dublin, briefly, London, for seven years, and New York. He’s currently based back in Bologna, where he works. He was Head Curator of Sesto Senso, a small no profit gallery in Bologna, for the exhibiting seasons of 2001-2002. He is Art Director of “Work — Art in progress”, magazine of the Contemporary Art Gallery of Trento, as well as contributing editor of NYArts Magazine and freelance writer for many art and fashion magazines. He is member of the artist association Darth (www.darth.it) and the Lomography International Society. He has been exhibiting since 1988 with group shows in places such as the Collective Gallery (Edinburgh), The National Portrait Gallery (London), Casco (Utrecht), ICA (London), Art in General (New York), Star67 (Brooklyn), ONI (Boston), Alphadelta (Athens) and sol shows at Camera (Adria), Bond Gallery (Birmingham), Sesto Senso, Graffio, Villa Serena (Bologna, 42contemporaneo (Modena) and PaggeriArte (Sassuolo). The winning bidder will receive a surprise artwork each month for six months in the mail in the spirit of the New York Correspondence School. In addition, you will be put on the artist’s mailing list for free future art mailings, and if you wish, receive pre-release info and invitations to his future projects.

You may see more of Stefano’s work on www.stefpasquini.com